Our Indian Wedding in India!

We had a grand, five day wedding following many of the Maharashtrian traditions and rituals. The wedding took place in India in Garima's hometown Indore. I didn't really know what all was awaiting me there, but with all the kind hospitality my parents and me and my friends received from Garima's family, this wedding was more fun than I could have ever imagined. Everything was very easy going, everybody had a lot of fun, nothing happened on time (but nobody minded). Our stay was at a special wedding palace called Shriji Vatika. It was like one big family mansion with the main wedding hall (where other ceremonies also took place), rooms upstairs and a huge open garden outside.

Welcome to Indore

We arrived in Indore in India after more than 30 hours of flying and waiting. At 9am we got a crazy welcome at the Shriji Vatika Wedding Parlor (where we stayed and celebrated for one week) that none of us, not even Garima expected. I was the first one to get out of the taxi, together with my dad and there was this drummer standing right on the street with his deafening beat and I felt as if everyone was staring at me. Given that it is a wedding parlor the neighbors might be seeing that sort of thing more often though. Garima's family welcomed us with garlands and sweets and a big dance in the courtyard while we were served much needed drinks. The marigold garlands also felt cool and refreshing in that weather. The rituals started on the first day itself. After we got introduced to the family and Garima met my friends (who were equally taken by surprise by the drummer and garlands etc. about one hour after our arrival), we were immediately served breakfast :-) Then in the afternoon there was Gadhangner lunch, which is traditionally given by the bride's uncle, followed by a shopping trip for sarees and kurta paijamas for us foreign guests and a Sherwani for me. Shopping was very entertaining: In the store a few clerks quickly showed us a large amount of different styles and colors of dresses, we all tried on different ones and requested different sizes. Without much complication our wishes were fulfilled. The clerks made sure that we all got matching accessories with our kurtas. I was first introduced to some super heavy and glittery Sherwanis, but said I would like to have something simpler and lighter. I reallly liked the very first simple one they pulled out and within seconds I had matching shoes, a scarf and some fake jewellery! That's how I like shopping, never once did they try to sell us something that we didn't like, they always found something better for us. Maybe it helped that the prices were rather affordable for the kind of fancy dresses we bought, but still. We also got Garima's jewellery, her mangalsutra and two necklace sets, and our rings. This has been a much more difficult task, as Indian jewellery tends to be rather huge and pompous, but we found some smaller pieces that suit out imaginations. Especially my ring was a difficult choice, as Indian male wedding rings tend to be giant golden bling. With the excuse that it's cold in Canada and I will have to wear gloves I got away with a small one. Although later, we had quite a few problems when the time came to put the rings on each other's finger at the engagement time. Since we had tried the rings at the air-conditioned jewellery shop, later they would no longer fit in the wedding hall heat on the engagement day. But once we came back to Canada (this giant air conditioner) the rings fit happily again :-) Anyways, after the shopping, in the evening we had a great dinner in the garden, where the insane daytime temperatures cooled down to a cool breeze. This was the first day of the ceremony!

Grandpa!

Our Wedding Palace, exclusively for us.

Mehendi (Henna) Ceremony

On the evening of the second day, we had the Mehandi party (followed by Sangeet or music-dance celebration) which kicked off the celebrations in full gear. At the mehendi ceremony, all the family members and guests, besides the bride and the groom, got the mehendi (henna) on their hands. Three mehendi artists were busy for the whole evening to put henna on everyone's hands. In addition to her hands Garima got her arms and feet done, too. She had to sit still for hours, the henna has to dry, too! I got mehendi on my hands and all the aunties were impressed that I sat and got it too, it seems not every groom is willing to spend time on this! During this time, Sangeet was also happening simultaneously. Everyone was dancing a lot to the drummer's beat! Garima's mom was dancing the craziest of all. Later, everyone sat in a group and had stories, good wishes and songs for us. Many of Garima's relatives (including her mom, sister and grandpa) were telling a little story or reciting something to wish us a happy life. They've all done this in English, which wasn't easy for everone, but they gave their best! This was the second day of celebrations!

Garima's mom is dancing like crazy!

Engagement

The third day started with the Engagement ceremony. Our engagement was a traditional Maharashtrian engagement ceremony called Sakharpuda. Sakharpuda is symbolised by the packet of sakhar puda (sugar) that the bride is given which symbolises the spreading of sweetness in the lives of the bride and the groom. Garima wore green bangles and a green saree (traditionally for sakharpuda). It was on the same day of our wedding due to time constraints. Everyone had a great laugh when it turned out that I couldn't get the ring over my finger. Nobody thought it was a problem. We had to repeat the ring exchanging part a couple of times so that the photographer could take enough photos. In addition to all the photos that we took by ourselves with five SLR cameras we had a local photographer who really did a good job in capturing the important moments that for example my dad missed when he was taking some rest or when he was tied up in one of the ceremonies. I think the press was also there during the engagement to report on how the "German guy takes the Indore bride".

The engagement ceremony, Garima and Michael.

The wedding hall from the mezzanine during the Sakharpuda Ceremony

Haldi Ceremony

The engagement ceremony was followed by the Haldi ceremony. In the Haldi/Turmeric ceremony a mixture of turmeric and sandalwood cream gets applied to the bride's and the groom's arms and cheeks by all the attending relatives before the wedding. It symbolizes purity. Once the haldi is put on, the bride and the groom are not supposed to go out until the wedding is finished. A new touch was added to this ceremony where after Garima and I were done, everyone else started putting turmeric into each others faces and it was a lot of fun!

Garima and Michael having some Haldi (Turmeric) on their cheeks.

The Wedding Ceremoy

The marriage took place at 6:45 pm. The men got dressed up in safa (the turban) and kurta-paijama. I wore my Sehra (the bridegroom gets a special turban) and the Sherwani, this fancy white dress. Getting those turbans on was quite the ordeal, a turban expert was hired who wrapped this stiff and scratchy cloth mercilessly around our heads. The result was great, though, mine was good to use for two days and it didn't have a single safety pin. Garima and most of the women wore sarees. For my marriage procession (called Baraat) I got to ride on an all-silver (not really!) chariot with musicians marching ahead of us. During the marriage procession on the street, everyone was dancing to the music. We went up and down the block on a main road and all the trucks and cars were honking at us. Some locals on the street joined in the procession, driven by curiosity and the hope to get something in the end. In the meantime, Garima was inside the house, performing a pooja (prayer) which a bride is supposed to perform to welcome her groom. After we came back to the the wedding palace which doubled as Garima's house the procession was welcome in by the Garima's family.

Then once inside, the marriage rituals started. The bride was brought by her mama or maternal uncle to the dais. Traditionally, the bride's and the groom's uncles stand on either side of the couple to make sure that the marriage proceeds smoothly. In my case, I had Martin! He gave quite a good uncle holding up that dagger! An Antarpat (a curtain made of white and pink roses) was held between us while the priest recited the mangalashtakas (eight blessings). That took quite a while and the uncles holding up the flower curtain became tired of holding it high enough so that I couldn't see over it, as I was, well, a little taller than most of the rest. The priest was constantly reminding them of their duties and I couldn't stop smiling. When the recitation was over, the cloth was removed, I finally got to see my bride (for the first time of course!). We exchanged varmalas (special garlands) and were showered with flower petals and rice grains by all the relatives and friends. Unlike in western marriages I was not allowed to kiss her though :(

After this ceremony, we sat down in front of the havan. The havan is basically a holy fire with wood considered sacred. The holy fire is considered a messenger of gods and takes all the offerings we give to it. My duty was to fuel the fire with ladles full of ghee (butter) that I had to pour with some special motion which I repeatedly forgot. We did seven pheras (rounds) around the fire and also saptapadi (seven steps walked together by the couple). In the end, I tied the mangalsutra (a black-bead necklace with a pendant in the center) around Garima's neck which is a symbol of our marriage. After all the rituals were performed, we had a big dinner in the open garden again. This was our main event day and the third day of celebrations!

My friends, family and Garima's family heading out to the procession.

The wedding procession (Baraat) with live music!

in
Our Maharashtrian Wedding Ceremony.

Pouring ghee into the holy fire. It got much bigger later, the more butter I poured in.

Reception

On the next day, we had a big reception party for about 300 guests. Of those I only "supplied" 10. Were I an Indian with many relatives that number would have easily doubled. The wedding parlor's garden was converted into a giant buffet. Garima and I had to sit and stand on the stage for hours and smile for uncountable photos and handshakes. Once this was over we could also go and have some food. Indian receptions are a bit different in a way that it is customary that people come to give their best wishes, they eat and they leave. The good thing is that you don't need to entertain hundrets of guests until the wee morning hours! (Oh and did I mention that the whole wedding is free of alcohol?)

With our families.

German and Aussie friends.

The food stands in the garden. With fresh rotis and naan out of a tandoor oven.

Newspapers

Through some special connections to the press, we gained quite the attention with our mixed Indian-German intercultural wedding. Only hours after our arrival the first reporters arrived and interviewed Garima and took photos of us. On the next day we were on the title page of a local newspaper! The press coverage continued and throughout the week we were featured in five articles in different newspapers. But not only that, the regional TV station came to interview us and Garima and I and her mom had to give interviews. Later a friend of Garima's came and told us that she's seen us on TV!

Like celebrities in the newspaper!
The headline says: "Indore's bride becomes German."

More Photos

For more photos have a look at these galleries. Garima has written a lot of little descriptions to explain what is happening during the various ceremonies.

Day 1: Welcome	Day 2: Mehendi	Day 3: Engagement and Haldi
Day 3: The Wedding	Day 4: Reception and Newspaper	Days 4 and 5: Misc